The 9 of Wands
NOTES / +Tarot 

Toughness, persistence, stamina, loyalty, release


+Tarot Journal

June 5, 2020 - ominous
  • 😺 card. I laughed when I drew this card again. I’m stuck on the shadow side of this card feeling overly defensive for no good reason. I came across a line in my +White Fragility notes about different ways we use our fragility to maintain power. It said, regarding different ways to do this, that “One of the most common is outrage: ‘How dare you suggest that I could have said or done something racist!’ Although these are unpleasant moments for me, they are also rather amusing.” It’s not amusing from the inside. Thinking about this more today.

June 3, 2020 - helpful
  • 😺 card. I just got Emi Brady’s amazing deck and so far the cards I’ve drawn resonate more with me than the traditional RWS. Both Emi Brady and Mary-El focus on this sense of an over-developed defensiveness (the hummingbird protecting the cactus, the tiger just being fierce). I experienced a moment the other day that is still being processed where I perhaps came off as too defensive. It’s a lifelong struggle of mine to not try to explain myself when I feel like I’m being misinterpreted. Get off of my cactus! Jessica Dore’s interpretation below also rings true. Overall, resonated strongly with a conflict I had a couple days earlier and was still thinking about. 


  • Light: Sticking with it for the duration. Fulfilling your promises and obligations. Bearing up under incredible duress. Dragging yourself across the finish line. Picking yourself up by your own bootstraps. Refusing to quit. Going as far as you can go and being satisfied with your performance.
  • Shadow: Making yourself a martyr. Abandoning your post. Giving up at the first sign of opposition. Being prevented from fulfilling an obligation. Failing to be dependable. Refusing to let something go that needs to be released. Beating a dead horse.

  • Light: last stand, persistence, grit, resilience, perseverance, close to success, fatigue        
  • Shadow: last stand, persistence, grit, resilience, perseverance, close to success, fatigue        

  • Today's card. If you got an electric shock every time you ate, you'd eventually learn to stop eating. Similarly, if the care you received as a child was consistently coupled with pain, terror, or overwhelm you may have learned to erect a "nourishment barrier" to block sustenance.