It’s just a trick, he’s not really here. I say as I open my eyes which were closed shut because of this paralysing fear. I have been trying not to think about him but I don’t really do a good job at “Not thinking”. This vivid nostalgic memory of pops up in my head, the memory of time whenI didn’t see things. I look up and throw a quick repressive glance at him again, I feel like I am going to explode! This has happened several times before, I have seen things which aren’t real—so this shouldn’t be really real, right? How do I avoid him, he’s there there though, how I stop seeing him. It’s this feeling, like you’re trapped, like you’re a tiger in a cage and he’s just looking at you, like you’re some kind of spectacle. Laughing at you, laughing till you’re paranoid. He’s deliberately striding towards me, and then I notice that inanimate crow. He’s just inching closer with that filthy creature in his hand and I can’t pretend this isn’t real anymore. He’s moving closer. I let out a inexplicably loud shriek and hold my head in my hand.
You have a form of narcolepsy that includes sleep paralysis and hypnopompic hallucinations. I remember the words that were told to me after my sleep studies. It’s a trick. it’s a trick. I keep telling myself till I stop hearing his footsteps. It’s a trick. The footsteps start fading away. It’s a trick. The footsteps are distinct now. It’s a trick. They are gone.
I look up, to see, he’s gone.