Drew Schorno “Dating Profile”
fun fact i am actually the first person to make a so called “date me doc”: this very document kicked off a trend that has been covered in wired, the new york times, the guardian, business insider etc and has resulted in at least one baby that I know of. hasn’t gotten *me* any dates though so you’re welcome folks lol


So pretty

About me

Seeing potential partners like a state..”

Name: Drew
Age: 34
Sex: Yes please
Location: BC, Canada (am dual Canada/US citizen). I kinda bounce between Vancouver Island, Vancouver, and Seattle. Good friends in Portland. Idk. 
Height: 6'3
Weight: 297 but also im LOSING WEIGHT so…
Body type: tall, broad shoulders, big furry belly, bean shape. If you need me to get completely JACKED though lmk
Sexuality: Interested in men or a woman who is not materially put off that I have mostly dated men in the past lmao
Seeking: Someone to build a life with!
Poly: I suppose I wouldn’t mind a certain degree of flexibility here if thats something that you wanted, I’m really not a jealous person, but my goal is to be in a stable primary relationship with one (1) person.
Kids: I would like that very much: for me children fall under the category of like “gifts from god”, so it feels weird to expect or demand them, but I’m trying to make space in my life for them to appear

Other stuff about me:
  • Graduated top of my class at an elite clown school
  • Designed album cover for international pop sensation Pitbull
  • Work as a freelancer/consultant, mostly what I do is build websites
  • I like to sing and cook food and wander around basically
  • Very cool, high status, and not neurotic

Someone stopped me in the street and interviewed me about my fashion when i was in NYC the other day so you can see what im like when im talking and stuff, sorry if it doesn’t link to the right timestamp youtube is being a little funny 

About you

I'm looking for someone who is sensitive and alive and has curiosity about the world and has a sense of humor. Who is not afraid to explore interesting ideas and different perspectives. Someone who writes good poetry, someone who sings and dances. Someone who wants to exchange long letters.


At some point dropbox paper stopped generating nice embedded previews for these I guess

(Advice for the vestigial shamans among us)

(Exploring a surprising theory of the obesity epidemic)

(A little bit about my time at clown school: includes video of my graduation performance lmao)

Post apocalypse attire:

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