4. Edit Onboarding flow

Challenge

Edit and rewrite onboarding copy to align with Voice Guide and seamlessly allow people to set up their account.

 

Step 1: Phone number

Why I wrote what I wrote

1st screen 
The first screen is filled with place holder text that the founder/developer wrote. He asked me to give the copy some more personality and make it unique to the app. 

2nd screen
This was the first draft of my copy. “Rolling” doubles as an energetic way to get people started and captures the idea of “rolling the die” in board games. 

3rd screen
Feedback pointed out that “Phone Number” showed up twice. In order to not be redundant, I removed the second sentence and let the input section fill in the rest. 


 

Step 2 :Verification code

1st
Placeholder text

2nd
I added “secret” to play up the communal/slightly geeky voice of the app. 

3rd
The 3rd iteration needed a little bit more directional copy. 

An alternative message could be: “Enter the secret code we text you”


 

Step 3: Email

1st
Placeholder

2nd
This gets points for brevity, but it’s redundant, boring, and the tone could be interpreted as too commanding. 

3rd
This needed to sound more colloquial. So I congratulated users and let them know they were only a few steps away from completion like any good game leader/Dungeon Master. 

Alternate message: “Cool. Just a little more info”